Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk

by Anthony Garone in 2011 Sep

Carl King is a creative friend of mine. Probably the most creative of all my friends. As I’ve mentioned repeatedly on the site, he’s written a book called So, You’re a Creative Genius… Now What? It’s quite eye-opening and mind-expanding. But that’s not why I’m writing.

Carl is an absolutely fantastic–dare I say brilliant?–musician. His music is unlike anything you’ve ever heard. I guarantee it. If there were a category for “otherworldly music,” Carl’s music would not only fall in it, but would also take the top 4 slots. And as much as I’ve loved Carl’s previous releases under the Sir Millard Mulch pseudonym, I believe he found his true musical voice on the second album released under his Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk pseudonym, Why I Am So Wise, Why I Am So Clever, and Why I Write Such Good Songs. The album is revolutionary. It’s incredible. I cannot express enough how entirely unique, creative, and unparalleled it is. It’s an achievement. And it’s the last album Carl seems to ever plan on releasing.

If you’re going to exit on a high note, that’s just what he did. Why I Am So Wise… is a monumental piece of media and, assuming Carl won’t get back into writing and recording music, will forever leave me tantalized at the thought that there could be another release someday.

Why He Is So Wise…

Having read Carl’s book, known him virtually for more than 10 years, subscribed to all of his mailing lists, and kept abreast of his creative efforts, I have seen Carl mature from a dude living in Florida at his mother’s house in utter despair to a man who has formed his identity and taken control of his life. I don’t think many people have the wisdom, heart, or motivation to do such a thing. Most people are “just jobbing it” with unhappy marriages, meaningless jobs, and sedentary lifestyles. But not Carl.

When he took on the Dr. Zoltan persona, he had already been through so many difficult life situations, moved to Los Angeles to be with other creative types, and worked through his disillusionment about the music business. He had already mastered the tools of his various trades and identified his audience. His writings as Dr. Zoltan were much more insightful and intelligent than anything he’s done as Mulch. The videos, the albums, the promotional materials… All a much higher caliber than the Mulch stuff. I think Zoltan is a manifestation of a mature person trying to make satire of very real problems in the world.

You might be asking yourself, “What does any of this have to do with Garone’s reviewing of this musician?” Well, the incredible thing about Carl’s musical personas is that they are entirely new people. They are conjured from Carl’s wild and endless imagination. Think of who Ziggy Stardust was to David Bowie. These “people” are not just actors in a film pretending to be another person for some short amount of time. Zoltan became an identity with a philosophy–a whole new person. He was a psychotic leader who was proud to be smarter, funnier, more insightful, and more wise than his audience. Zoltan was an artist. He was many things. He even held a “War on Fun” “concert” with himself and Marco Minnemann taking the stage to “insult” the audience for 90 minutes. Who does this kind of stuff?

Why He Is So Clever…

Ah, Zoltan is also so clever. He even has a song on this album called Why I Am So Clever. He has an over-inflated ego, especially considering he didn’t even exist until he was conjured. He has no life experience and serves as a mouthpiece for some very real and interesting thoughts from a very creative mind. Check out this paragraph:

According to a recent Anti-Sociology Study conducted by Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk, Normal Humans have invaded The Internet, a place which has, until recently, been a sanctuary for non-conformists, hackers, social outcasts, phreaks, SubGenii, and all other flavors of Intelligentsia (a 19th century Russian term meaning, “a social class of people engaged in complex mental and creative labor directed to the development and dissemination of culture).

If that ain’t clever, I don’t know what is. When I read Zoltan’s many writings, I am filled with creative and witty envy. The man (Carl/Zoltan) is so intelligent, funny, sarcastic, over-the-top, and unashamed of who he is… No wonder Carl had to operate under a different persona. No one would/should take credit for the writings of a madman. The only way to respectfully do so is under a totally ridiculous pen name.

Zoltan had mastered every type of media out there: print, video, music, spoken word… It’s a mystery to me how one person can so thoroughly demolish the constructs of every media type. From his borderline-humorous song titles to his war on fun to his offensive video podcasts, Zoltan was all-around-awesome.

And Why He Writes Such Good Songs

All this writing and I haven’t even scratched the surface of the music! Zoltan’s music is… complex. Like his published writings, the music is deeply complex, fraught with individuality… there has never, ever been music written or performed like this (a fact for which I am almost grateful). Some of the tracks are truly mind-blowing. I sit and listen in awe not to the complexity of the music (it is often extremely heavily subdivided with polyrhythms, odd chord voicings, odd time signatures, etc.), but at the creativity manifested in these songs.

The album opens with an amazing cover of Prokofiev’s Piano Sonata 8, Movement III, which I find to be one of the primary highlights of the album. I think Prokofiev himself would have fallen out of his chair having heard this. I don’t know how anyone performs music like this. Despite the drum and piano sequencing, the guitar and bass parts are very, very difficult. Carl quickly and effortlessly demonstrates that he has mastered this art form. The Sir Millard Mulch music, as complex and imaginative as it is, was merely a prerequisite for these Zoltan performances.

Next is a “Drum Battle” between man and machine. The game for the listener is to identify which measures of drums are programmed by Zoltan and which are performed by the unbelievably twisted Marco Minneman. Carl did a great job on this in that the mixing of the real and sequenced tracks make it really difficult to distinguish which bits are human and which aren’t. Not to mention the vamp/ostinatto over which the drums are playing is totally absurd. The capabilities for these two guys in their manipulation of rhythm is beyond my comprehension.

We Are Teaching You Secret And Ancient Things is one of the few songs I have “figured out.” There actually is a regular 4/4 time signature behind the madness. The melody, although mixed pretty far back, is all eighth notes. That should give you a start. Nevertheless, this is one of the more straightforward songs on the album. Fun while it lasts, but just long enough if you ask me.

Bartok’s Piano Sonata Movement III is another hard rock, odd-metered highlight of this record. I will openly admit that I’d never heard this piece before–although even if I had heard it, I doubt I would have recognized Zoltan’s cover. There is, once again, so much creativity and thought in this song. It’s almost depressing to me as a musician that something like this could be accomplished had I half the talent of Zoltan. What’s more depressing is the utter lack of recognition of talent Carl has received through this whole extraordinary endeavor, but that’s neither here nor there.

My favorite piece on the album, the truly unpronounceable Upptäckten Av Ancient Alien Obviation Ruler Kit. This song is the epitome of Zoltan. It features all the things that make the music so great: the dense and verbose song title with a joke so esoteric most people (including myself) won’t get it and wouldn’t get it if it were explained, the wacky guitar antics, the unperformable drum parts, and yet an entirely memorable piece of music. I have listened to this song hundreds of times. It is an inspiration to me. And here it is from YouTube:

Laser Kamp Mot Man Med Rött Hår Och Mustasch is an atonal piano improvisation piece by the obviously-talented Lale Larson. These piano pieces, while interesting, are the least interesting tracks on the album. Maybe it’s my bias for Zoltan, but they seem out of place in the context of the album.

Lost Philosophical Technology of the 19th Century is more classic Zoltan and the first song on the album with vocals. It features Zoltan’s lecturing as the lead vocal part with classic Mulch-style background vocals, harmonies, and computerization. It took me a few listens to figure out who the people in the song mentioned in the lyrics are (“Fred” is Fredrich Nietschze, “Nick” is Nikolai Tesla, etc.). They are all 19th-century philosophers and innovators who chose to forego fame, fortune, mental sanity/peace in favor of pursuing their passions, to the point of self destruction.

Stalingrasse’s Final Flight is a drum programming etude featuring Carl’s adeptness at sequencing realistic drums using the Superior Drummer plugin, formerly known as Drumkit From Hell. There’s a weird ostinatto going on here that’s unplayable by most musician’s standards.

War on Fun. This is where the philosophy of Zoltan runs deep. The lyrics (at least as much of them as I can understand) are classic:

No fun, no fun, no fun, no fun…
I will not waste time, I will not waste energy
Fun is wrong, fun is bad
I will not participate where there is fun to be had
I am serious

Carl might think I’m thinking too much about this stuff, but I have thought at great length about this track and what it really might mean. There’s the blatantly obvious ridiculousness of it all, but there’s also a clear streak of sincerity. Zoltan frequently bashes conventional “wisdom” and worldly “entertainment.” There are types of fun that are wastes of time and energy, but Carl is the kind of guy who has learned and accomplished so much that I can’t help but believe he’s half-heartedly serious about not wanting to “participate where there is fun to be had.” Inasmuch as Zoltan caters to worldly intellectualism with such wordiness, he is also clearly rebellious.

And this sums up what I love so much about the whole Dr. Zoltan concept: the dichotomy of satire and reality. Check out this podcast:

It’s as funny as it is serious as it is ironic as it is insulting as it is….

Old Books Ignored By Young Minds is a perverse 13-second piano piece with an indescribable modality. You have to hear it to know what I mean.

Stomped By Boots Of Hell General is a barrage of notes. Hardly musical, hardly listenable, hardly performable, but masterfully executed.

Ø is my other favorite track on the disc. It’s just a drum track, but it’s so well programmed. It’s audible proof as to why Zoltan was “voted #1 drum programmer by Drum Programmer Magazine.” The ghost notes on the snare, the accents on the hat, the melodic tom lines… this is the way a real drum composition should be. It’s just perfect. And the four measure rest in the middle of the track surprises me every time it ends. I’ve never heard sequenced drum tracks groove like this. The intricacies of human performance are very closely captured in this sequence and the folks who write the Superior Drummer product should be proud of what Carl’s done.

There are many other tracks on the album (most of them less than one minute in length), but a few of them stand out more than the others:

The rest of the album is generally great, though I could do without the Freefall track. I don’t think it adds anything to the overall message and I’m not too big into conspiracies behind the 9/11 attacks. Regardless, if I could create an album half this good, I would be happy for the rest of my life.

You can buy Why I Am So Wise, Why I Am So Clever, And Why I Write Such Good Songs from Carl’s online store. You can also download Carl’s entire catalog of music for free. I recommend you do… it’s worth the listen.

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